I met Art Guy
I met my friend Mika this afternoon (for the second time this year) and was really looking forward to checking out a current Araki exhibition. Everything was going well until an American Art Guy walked in the gallery.
Loudly and agressively ask what I think of the exhibition surrounding us BUT before you wait for my answer crudely state your own feelings by shaking your right hand in a loose and suggestive manner to further express your opinion that you are verbally expressing.
Now say that the work “is a total rip off of ____________”(obscure/unknown/close friend photographer) and then ask if I have heard of this person. Then after I say no, quickly and audibly SIGH and be an jerk. Keep being an jerk by making huge sweeping genrealizations about an artist (in this case, Araki), going so far as to tell me what Araki thinks about-
no, wait.
This is lame. Let me start over.
This guy came up to me and interrupted my conversation with a good friend today in a gallery. He was crude, though he seemed to have thought he was just the smartest guy ever. The demonstration of his wildy overpowering artistic sense relied heavily on name dropping and slaming everything about the photos on the walls (except one, because the girl was not in the center of the photo).
He also slammed everything about Araki, Nebraska (!), or any photographer that Mika or I liked. He mentioned several times, over and over about how he went to Yale and how tough their photo program is at Yale and how Yale produces the best photographers in the world and how so and so the famous photographer/teacher made other famous photographers cry at Yale and on and on.
In between the Yale mentioning and Araki disses and statements of near hate (or arrogant dismissal!) for just about any other photographer, he was sure to keep doing this thing where if I made any sort of counterpoint or civil agreement to something he said he would drop about 3 or 4 names of photographers (obscure/unknown/close friend ones) that were just AMAZING and make better work than anything I have ever seen. But for some reason neither I nor Mika (a photo grad student in Tokyo) had ever heard of any of them. To which he would then scoff at the fact that we had never heard of them. But then add that “only half their work is good” or, “Their old stuff was so much better than the shit they do now”.
He called a lot of other famous photographers sell-outs, brought in the ol’ McDonald’s hamburgers analogy in two versions- the one that says they dictate popular understanding of hamburgers even with a crappy product, and also the one that says some people eat these hamburgers and secretly enjoy them like smart folk (like him?) who should know better still can like bad art but not anything by Araki.
He tossed in another few “zingers” that seemed to have been recalled from rote memory. It was embarrassing, like when the topic of our (?) discussion just barely fit the smug art critic one-liner he so badly wanted to use. (”Well… Ninagawa Mika- you know, she’s got the best career money can buy! hunh? right? Money can buy”. An actual quote.)
Congratulations guy with stringy long hair! You totally pissed me off.
I AM SO GLAD WE DID NOT TALK ABOUT MUSIC as I have heard of Music Guys like him.
I could have gone toe to toe with the Art Talk, but there was not enough room for two loud idiots in that, or any gallery. Actually, my whole life I have gone along with being “nice”. And I was today. “Curt” is probably the better word though. Was it worth the effort it would take to try and argue with someone who is that much of a cliche themselves? Even at the very moment he is haranguing the art surrounding us on the walls as just being a cliche?
If I am upset or mad or in complete disagreement with everything that comes out of your mouth, I won’t say so. I will let you keep talking. I am not going to “fight” out competing artistic theories and try to win. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for thoughful discussion on art and photography, and I do enjoy learning about artists that I’ve yet to hear of. But do it with some class, G.
The moral is:
Art Guys and their fast talking name-dropping vitriolic sermons of condescension are the worst.
And then to top off 30 solid minutes of bullshit with “so what are you guys doing tonight?”….
Isn’t he just The Worst?
I’ve met Computer Guy before, as well.
…
two questions:
1. Did he have a camera?
2. Did you take his picture with yours?
Comment by Nick — 6/6/2007 @ 12:41 am
people like that are the worst really. i guess you just have to take solace in the thought that he was completely insecure about himself, and was probably *in a roundabout way* trying to impress you guys because he thought you were cool.
there were a couple of people like that in my art history 440/840 class in college. after you’re done talking with them you leave pretty much disgusted, knowing that you could have successfully argued and refuted every one of their poorly constructed faux intellectual points, BUT DIDN’T, because that person wouldn’t have magically become a genius because of it, and probably just tried to argue the same points again, BUT LOUDER.
rest assured, there is a special place in hell for those types, john….
Comment by scott — 6/6/2007 @ 12:54 am
people like that only talk shit because they can’t step up to the mark in whatever it is they are talking about…you should’ve popped him one
Comment by waiting for friday — 6/6/2007 @ 4:30 am
I want to read art guy’s blog post about you!
How was the Araki exhibit?
Comment by Mark James Adams — 6/6/2007 @ 7:31 am
Ben and I had one of these in our photo class, very quick to enlighten us with her knowledge of names and her rough understanding of art history. It is embarrassing, insulting and a total waste of time. Our professor had the good sense to not let her participate in the final critique, as she had continually added nothing to (and at times, actually taken something from) the conversation.
That said, I know I’ve been that person a few times. Maybe not as jerky as this guy, but I have argued long after it was really worthwhile or productive. Sometimes enthusiasm can get mixed with jealousy or insecurity and produce a very unpleasant (but usually not incredibly malicious) atmosphere.
Besides Music Guy and Computer Guy, I have also run into Alcohol Guy, Human Rights Guy, Environment Guy and Anti-Graduate School Guy.
Comment by Justin — 6/6/2007 @ 8:54 am
I think Anti-grad school guy would be kind of fun because it is so obvious that he was just not able to get into grad school (Similar to Anti-JET Program guy (level 1)).
Yesterday I went back to the exhibition to try to cancel out the memory that I had of the show from the day before. It was a lot better the second time, re-reading Terry Barrett’s (WHOOPS there I go now) section about Intrepretive Photographs on the subway was a good primer before re-seeing the show.
Nick: I did not take his photo. I never want to see this guy again. As we went to leave, I saw him smoking on the steps through the glass entrance door and so I had Mika follow me through the building to leave via the loading dock out back.
Mark: Me too!
A conceptual excerpt: “there was this totally lame guy with a hot japanese chick at the gallery today and neither of them knew anything about art”
All who commented: Yes you are right.
Comment by John — 6/7/2007 @ 9:29 am
Yaleies, what a bunch of jerks. Do you know what his name is. I just want to see if he has a record of being a d-bag.
Comment by bradley — 6/8/2007 @ 12:12 pm
I wish some of you cared more about the craft of making pictures vs the art world (the big names you’ve got to know and like to be “in”, the techniques that will push you to the top)
An Exhibition is a photography project funeral. Musicians have lively concerts, us photographers sanctify our work amdist champagne glasses and snoby know it all
art monkeys. There is nothing more depressing than an exhibition in a photographer’s life.
A museum, gallery, is not a place to have a debate because it is a place full of sadness and nostalgia.
Besides Photography is not about talking.
You could have taken a better picture of Mika, it is a real shame.
Seems to me like you are wasting your time on trivial things.
Comment by Wolfgang — 6/11/2007 @ 11:24 pm
“the techniques that will push you to the top”
To the top of what?…the art world….isn’t that trivial?
Seems like you just displaced the criticism and shifted the waste of time to something else, like i don’t know….maybe your wishes. Maybe I am misunderstanding.
Comment by bradley — 6/12/2007 @ 11:45 pm